Conflict Resolution

Disagreements are common. It’s a fact of life. But how people handle conflict makes all the difference in the world. It sets the tone for that relationship and how effective they can be in working together.

Some people take a competitive approach while others are happy to accommodate, collaborate, or compromise. Meanwhile, others choose to avoid conflict.

Which approach is right?

There is no “right” approach. All five modes are useful in certain situations. But as you develop your leadership skills, it’s important that you learn how to deal with conflict in a constructive manner.

Why does managing conflict matter?

Conflict should be addressed early on to prevent it from becoming personal, disruptive, or damaging to the work environment. The last thing you want is for productivity to be hurt or for turnover to result from conflict not being handled in a healthy manner.

What is conflict resolution?

By definition, it’s a way for two or more parties to find a solution to a disagreement. It is often caused by differences in opinion, style or approach.

How can you best resolve conflict?

It is both an art and a science.

From a scientific standpoint, assessments such as Myers Briggs can help you better understand different personality types, the way people take in information, and come to conclusions. Also, tools such as the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) can assist you in better understanding an individual’s behavior in conflict situations. We’ll go into more detail on the TKI in a moment.

Applying these findings is more of an art and a skillset you will develop over time. However, there are key steps you can follow to guide you in this process:

As the American Management Association outlines, there are 5 Steps to Conflict Resolution:

1. Identify the source of the conflict. Ask questions and gather information to gain a better understanding of the situation. Give each person an opportunity to share their side of the story and remain objective as you assess the situation.
2. Look beyond the incident. The problem may not be the situation in front of you. Look for the root cause. Were there other underlying issues that led up to this conflict? Keep in mind that perspectives and assumptions about behavior and motives can amplify the real problem. Ask questions of each person directly involved to dig deeper and find out what is really going on. As the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) states, “Even seemingly small conflicts can be important because they’re often really about larger issues.” (Source: https://www.shrm.org/hr-today/news/hr-magazine/pages/070815-conflict-management.aspx)
3. Request solutions. As a mediator, your role is to facilitate a conversation that helps those involved to come up with their own solution. Rather than blaming, each person needs to take responsibility for their part in the problem and shift the focus to a solutions-based focus.
4. Identify solutions both disputants can support. Point out the merits of each idea and guide the conversation to a workable solution.
5. Agreement. Make the agreement clear and concise with actionable steps and timeframes, if appropriate.

By implementing the above five steps, you’ll be able to help others navigate conflict in a healthy, productive manner. Once you better understand the dynamics of conflict and why people respond the way they do, you will be able to better respond as situations arise.

How can the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument help you handle conflict?

The Thomas Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) will help you to understand a person’s response to a disagreement. Then you can use those insights to develop conflict management strategies for teams and departments.

The TKI model describes a person’s behavior along two basic dimensions: (1) assertiveness, the extent to which the individual attempts to satisfy his or her own concerns, and (2) cooperativeness, the extent to which the individual attempts to satisfy the other person’s concerns.

Within these two dimensions are five conflict-handling modes:

1. Competing – assertive and uncooperative. When competing, a person pursues his or her own interests at the other person’s expense.
2. Collaborating – assertive and cooperative. When collaborating, an individual attempts to work with the other person to find a solution that fully satisfies both parties.
3. Compromising – intermediate in both assertiveness and cooperativeness. When compromising, each person is looking to find an acceptable solution that partially satisfies both parties.
4. Avoiding – unassertive and uncooperative. When avoiding, a person is choosing to not engage in discussion about the issue or move toward a solution.
5. Accommodating – unassertive and cooperative. When accommodating, an individual neglects his or her own concerns to satisfy the other party.

To learn how to best use each of these modes in various conflict examples, download this Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode sample report.